Roshambo (or Rochambeau if you’re fancy) is just the formal name for the game of rock paper scissors. I find this to be a very effective way to make decisions in an unbiased and unique fashion. Struggling to figure out where to eat? Rock paper scissors. Don’t know which movie to watch? Rock paper scissors. If you want to spice it up, you can do best two out of three. The things I like best about this technique?: It is somewhat objective, and, it takes language out of the equation. Thusly, less arguing.
You see, I often find language is a big part of the problem in relationships. What did you say? What did you think you said? So much misinterpretation happens. It’s a real life “telephone game.” Everything gets scrambled. Assumptions are made.
Or, we prey on each other‘s weaknesses. Somebody is better at arguing. Or has better language skills. Or knows how to manipulate us via emotions.
What’s great about this is that there’s no real skill. No one can get better. It is somewhat random. We have to give in to fate, and therefore, honor the objectivity of the process.
I have found this technique to be so effective, my wife and I solve most (minor) disagreements via Roshambo. And we’ve come to trust each other so much, that we’ve been able to do this over the phone, or in the dark of night. There’s a belief that the other party will be fair, because you want to receive fair treatment when your time comes around. We’re all invested in equality here. Respect for the outcome is key (even if you don’t like the fact that you lost). Part of the respect comes from a long term strategy, that your time will come. As such, I’m not sure how this would go in a brief relationship or to decide a one time disagreement.
I also like that it’s kind of silly, childish, stupid. No better way to defuse an argument than through humor, or being goofy. It’s hard to be frustrated with the outcome, when it all comes down to a hand gesture. And it’s fun to be playful. And joke that “I’m going to win the next one”, or “ha ha rock beats scissors!”
Now to be clear, this is no way to solve major arguments! That’s a time when verbal communication is so vital. And understanding your partner is really the goal. I intend this technique for couples who simply need to decide on the basics, and are stuck in a quagmire of stating individual preferences louder and louder. Again, Roshambo to determine where to eat, what movie to watch, maybe even where to travel, or what to do this weekend? But if this is a question of should we have kids, should I quit my job, should we have an open relationship?! Those are issues that require communication & understanding. I want to know WHY you feel the way you feel. I want to have insight into your reasoning. The outcome is secondary.
But I don’t care why you want to see the new Star Wars movie, or you don’t need to know why I want to eat Chinese for dinner? Because frankly, we may not even have the answer to these things ourselves. But, should we get married or break up? This is a discussion. There are bigger stakes at hand. And, understanding how you got your answer is more important than the answer itself sometimes. Whereas 2+2 is always 4 – so there’s no need for showing your work there – just Roshambo it! 
